Birth Story and The First 12 Weeks

It's only taken 3 months to put this out there...

Sunday, April 29

I wake up around midnight with what feels like mild, period-like cramping.  I go to the bathroom...I also have diarrhea (yes, you have to get all the gory details)...and I go back to bed.  I wake up around 1 a.m. and the cramping is a teensy bit more, but not crazy...I go back to sleep.  I wake up at 2 a.m. and notice that not only is the cramping getting worse, it seems like it's only maybe 5 minutes apart.

I call the OB number as instructed and leave a message and await callback from whoever is on call.  The Dr calls back within minutes.  He says, "yep...time to come in" so I wake Ryan.  We are in the car by 3 a.m.

We get checked into the hospital and I make it to the bathroom JUST in time for my water to break.  It was totally like peeing, but having NO control over it.  Still having diarrhea also...lovely.

They get me to a temporary bay area, changed and hooked up to monitors.  They check and I'm at 3cm.  They have to test to make sure that yes, that was amniotic fluid.  By now the contractions are getting much more intense and are only like 2 minutes apart.  They get me moved to my Labor and Delivery room.

Since I tested positive for Group B Strep, they have to hook me up to IV antibiotics.  I have to go through two bags before they want me to start delivering.  At this point the contractions are getting out of control and I'm getting virtually NO break in between.  They were coming 1 minute apart and felt like knives ripping my insides apart.  I was actually whimpering.  Ryan was a bit freaked out by the sounds I'm making.

I keep asking when can I PLEASE have the epidural???  I can't remember why they kept putting it off...but I know that it was probably around 5 a.m. that the guy came in to administer.  It was such a strange feeling...felt like electric shocks down one leg?  But nothing painful really.  After that I just waited probably 15 minutes and then the relief kicked in.  Sweet, blissful relief...ahhhhh.  I felt so much better that all of a sudden felt super relaxed and wanted to go to sleep haha.

The Dr came in and checked me out and said to just try to relax.  Ryan and I just chilled and after an hour the Dr came back in and said that I had gone from 3cm to 10cm!  He said that was kinda crazy.  He said I was almost ready to begin pushing, but we were still having to wait for the stupid antibiotics to be in my system.  So we just wait...and wait.

Finally around 8 a.m. they give me the go ahead to start pushing.  So it's just me, Ryan and the RN.  She's great though and coaches me well considering I can't feel what I'm doing like at all.  So while I'm not feeling ANYthing...the act of pushing is really exhausting.  I pushed like 3 times then would rest...then they could see on the machine when another contraction was coming so I would push 3 more times and then rest...etc.

This went on for 2 hours.  At this point the Dr comes in and tells me that if things don't progress further in a decent amount of time, we may need to do vacuum-assist, forceps or a c-section.  He said that baby's shoulder seemed to be at a non-ideal angle.  So this had me determined more than ever to make every push count. So those last 30 minutes I gave it my all.

He finally crowned and the Dr came in and tried to coach me on my pushing.  All I know is that he told me to push...then quickly said, "ok stop, stop, STOP!" but it was too late.  I had just had a third degree tear, but Nolan was here at 10:37 a.m.!


They took him away to clean him up and do all the usual checks.  Ryan had to hold him while the Dr spent over an hour repairing me.  He said had I not had such a wonderful epidural, he'd have had to have taken me straight to the OR because the damage was so great.  I lost a little over a liter of blood, but sitting there while he worked on me, I felt fine.

But then they sat me upright and my whole world faded.

It was so scary...I remember looking at Ryan and then my vision going tunnel-like and gray...and then black as my hearing also faded out.  I honestly thought I was dying.  I have never passed out in my life.  As soon as they laid me back down I came back, but I was terrified.

They wheeled me to my postpartum room.  As soon as I'm in there, they let the immediate family in.  I remember I'm just STARVING...keep in mind it's almost 1 p.m. and I hadn't eaten since maybe 6 p.m. the night before.  I remember seeing all my family and watching them all look at Nolan and pass him around.

And then they tried to sit me upright again...once again the world starts fading away and I yell for them to put me back down.  I hear a nurse say that my blood pressure is 79/54 o_0.  Apparently I was "this close" to needing a transfusion, but they really only do those if ABSOLUTELY necessary.  Apparently I look scary to everyone...my family is so freaked by my pale appearance that they insist on leaving and try to get Ryan's family to do the same...they feel as if I need to rest and looking back I think they were right.  I remember finally getting some food and Ryan had to feed me lying down.

At this point I can't yet feel anything to do with my tear and luckily I have no need to go to the bathroom for quite a while.  But later that evening I do and the nurses have to help me...I almost pass out every single time they set me upright.  And on top of that, all the feeling is coming back and it's just horrible.

I also haven't slept at all during any of my time since I checked in...every time I am finally left alone, I try to get to sleep, but then a machine in my room beeps, or the IV has an issue, or the blood pressure cuff goes super-tight and wakes me.  And if I do drift off momentarily through all of that, they bring Nolan back from the nursery to try to nurse, which is a total disaster in itself.

So this goes on for the 2 nights I am there.  Completely exhausted, in so much pain and feeling like a huge failure to Nolan who is so obviously starving that they have to ask me if they can give him some formula.  He is jaundiced :(

It was just such a stressful time.  Not at all what I had expected.  Thank GOD my mom was able to stay with us from the beginning because I couldn't do much of anything with my tear and blood loss.  It was all I could do to hold Nolan and try to breastfeed.  My milk didn't come in until the fifth day and the Dr was concerned about Nolan's health.  He had lost quite a bit of weight so we had to supplement.  I was pumping and pumping all the time, but never got more than 5 oz total from both breasts.  We gave it a solid 3 weeks, but that's all I could do.

The first three weeks of his life were hard...omg were they hard.  He wouldn't sleep more than an hour and a half at the most...ever.  Around 4 weeks I was changing him and noticed an olive-sized lump in his groin above his penis.  I knew that Ryan, his dad and his brother had all had inguinal hernias as children...but more like after 6 months of age.  Sure enough this is what Nolan has.

Poor little guy has surgery at just over 5 weeks of age.  That was so hard...to hand him over knowing he'll have to be put under at such a young age.  But he made it through and that completely changed how he slept, ate and felt overall.  Was so nice to have him nap for more than 25 minutes at the time.

By 6 weeks things were really getting good.  I had figured out a great routine that was pretty much on a 3-hour cycle.  Wake, change, feed, play, nap, repeat.  In doing this, I was getting 1-hour naps during the day and he was sleeping 5 hours a night with only one feeding.  By 8 weeks he was consistently sleeping 6 hours at night...by 10 weeks 8 hours at night with two, 2-hr+ naps and now he's going around 10 hours at night with at least two, 2-hour naps during the day.

I never used to believe it when people would say "it gets better"...but now I know it CAN happen haha.

Things he loves:
Mobile gym - omg his favorite thing ever!  He'll spend 30 min on this easily
Bumbo - he just recently can sit in this and is good for right after he eats
Eating
Cooing and laughing

Things he does not love:
The swing??  Of course the most $$$ thing we have for him he's not big on..I've gotten him to like it for like 10 min at the time haha
The bouncer??  He likes it more now than he used to, but still not much

What else...um...I know I'm forgetting things here and there...but I would say we're doing good!  I just started back to work, but with reduced hours.  I now work 30 hours...3 days are in the office so Nolan is in daycare on Monday, Wednesday and Friday...then I work a few hours from home on Tuesdays and Thursdays.  I'm so fortunate to be able to do this...but also still mad jealous of women in the UK and Canada who get crazy maternity leave.  And REALLY jealous of those fortunate enough to be able to be stay-at-home moms.  Best job in the world I think!

I'm alive!

Hi all...sorry I've been so MIA...this first week has been a rough one.

I'm not gonna type out the birth story yet, but basically...epidurals are awesome, but a third degree tear is NOT.  I lost a good liter of blood and it took them an hour to put me back together :(  The tear is healing well apparently, but getting my energy back from the blood loss has been a struggle.  The first night home I tried to do to much and didn't wake mom to get help and I had a mini-breakdown both physically and emotionally.  But I'm better each day and he really is a cutie. 

Ryan is still adjusting too.  He's doing really well I think, but right now he says he only likes him when he's sleeping ;)  I think that's a pretty normal sentiment.

My milk JUST came in today so we've been having to do formula in the meantime.  I just tried out my breast pump...WEIRD!  But I did manage to get some.  This is all soooooooooo alien to me, but I'm going with it.  Nothing like having your mom help you shove your nipple into your baby's mouth while your husband helps hold his little arms still ;)  So long modesty!

That's all I got for now, but will try to be better about communicating in the future...just might be really scarce for a bit longer ;)  Love you all! 

How is everyone else doing??
Mandy

39 weeks 6 Days

Ok so...Ryan and I were all excited about our ultrasound today.  We get to the waiting room and the ultrasound tech comes over to us.  She says that the girl who scheduled this appt for me last week wasn't paying attention.  Insurance won't cover the ultrasound or NST monitoring until AFTER my due date, which would mean Friday.  She explains she is sorry and that I'll still meet with the Dr for the cervix check and measuring.  I'm just so so disappointed.  I tell Ryan he can go back to work.

I see the Dr and she apologizes for the mixup.  She says she will still check me and offers to strip my membranes as it can sometimes speed things up (said can trigger labor within 48 hrs?).  I say sure.  She checks and I've not made any further progress.  Still 3cm and 70% effaced.  She strips my membranes, which is only slightly more uncomfy than the check itself. 

So now I'm home and grumpy and spotting like whoa.  No cramping or contractions yet that I'm aware of.  Baby still measuring "normal"...she estimated he'll be under 8 lbs or just over.  Now the next available u/s and NST appt is Monday at 2pm.  Maybe I'll go into labor before then.  They did go ahead and put me on the schedule to be induced next Thursday if he hasn't yet arrived. 

I'm just so disappointed...but I'm hormonal and I know I'll get over it.  Just such a letdown.

39 weeks 4 days (TMI)

So over the weekend I had some TMI events...I spotted most of the day Friday after the OB appt...nothing unusual.

Saturday morning I noticed some brownish mucus so I assumed it was my mucus plug. Ryan had gotten up WAY early to go to Record Store Day so I texted him that I had lost it. His reply was too funny...I just imagined him standing in line and reacting. He kills me!


Anyway, Sunday morning was the REAL mucus plug...a brownish mass at the bottom of the toilet. Gross, but ok whatever.

Then this morning after peeing I noticed a rather sizable reddish brown streaky mucus mass on the TP...after googling I realize this is the "bloody show," which is way more indicative that things are about to start happening.

So here I sit today at my desk...highly unmotivated to work. Haven't had any menstrual-like cramping or BH contractions that I'm aware of since Tuesday, but I do think we will be meeting BB before the weekend perhaps! My brother is back stateside around 10:30am tomorrow when I'm supposed to pick him up from the airport. Crazy times!

Next OB appt is Wednesday at 1:20pm. Kinda hoping I go into labor then and there since we'll be right at the hospital ;)

39 weeks 1 day

Baby
-measuring normal
-still head down
-heart rate 140bpm

Me
-3cm dilated and still 70% effaced.
-If he hasn't yet arrived by then, the next appt is Wednesday at 1:20 where they'll do an ultrasound to make sure all is well. If he is showing any signs of stress or whatnot, they move up induction, but for now he won't be induced until May 3 if he hasn't shown up by then.

New stuff
-Had my first, definitive Braxton Hicks contractions the past two nights. No pain, just definite tightening of entire abdomen for a few minutes at the time.
-Also had more intense, menstrual-like cramps down low earlier in the week. Nothing since.

Colleen's Birth Story 4/11/12

Even though I'm planning a birth with some drugs and an epidural I'm posting my friend's birth story as it's a pretty awesome one for those wishing to go natural:

So there is totally truth to the "you'll know thing". I mean, i was not 100%, but i just felt different that morning. I actually slept so soundly the night before - natures way of getting me ready, perhaps? I had no appetite, but no other "symptoms" until we were leaving for the dr...when I peed, the toilet paper had a little pink - not enough to be sure, but I was certainly suspicious.

Ok, so I had a 9:45 dr appointment (40 weeks) and she is delivering a baby, so we are waiting. Probably 20 min go by and I tell my husband that this is the day and I ask the receptionist if I can see any dr because I think I'm going into labor. I cannot tell you any particular reason I said this. So anyway, I go back and get undressed and the nurse says my dr will be there in five minuets. I'm on the table and I have my first true contraction - major cramp, a "strong" BH feeling, and then a fairly sharp pain very low. I said "ouch" pretty loudly and made a face. Pretty soon I told my husband that I felt "leaky". Dr comes in, looks at the leak, and says that my bag hasn't fully broken, but it does have a leak. She goes to examine me, I have another contraction (much stronger!), there is an audible "pop", and I gush water everywhere! Yuck! She declares that I am 4cm, 90%, and at 0 station - and says I must go to labor and delivery now because there was slight meconium staining. Mind you, my dr is at the hospital, so we only have a one minute walk.

Call the doula (come now!), call my mom, get checked in and by now my contractions are about two minutes apart (not necessarily normal - everything was in fast forward for me). Doula arrives, Davin runs home (thankfully five minutes away) to get the camera and bags, and by the time he returns (20 min) my contractions are one minute apart and very strong. It hurt. A lot. But it is doable and that minute inbetween is heavenly! I found waking, swaying, and leaning forward on someone very helpful. Laying down made my low back really hurt. I also had this obsession with Davin rubbing between my thumb and first finger - I actually bruised but would not let him stop - I think I focused on it. Gross alert - at this point I very suddenly and painfully had to poop. I ran to the toilet and, in front of everyone, just let go. Ugh! But you truly don't care at that point. Also, my doula was great about making me drink water (with a straw - she'd just shove it in my face) and I still ended dehydrated, so put someone on water duty. At the end of this part, I suddenly got violently shaky - like I was cold, but I don't think I was. The nurse and my doula said it was normal - my teeth about rattled out of my head.

Transition came quickly for me and that was the worst part. A contraction would peak and just start to wane and another would come - I kept saying I thought I'd have a break. But that did go quickly. In fact, the whole thing flew by. At this point, I moved to the toilet to labor and that ended up feeling the best and I hung out there forever. I sometimes stood over it, but usually just kind of sat with my legs wide apart and used it as leverage. Davin was in front of me and sometimes I would lean forward on him. In between the contractions I would completely zone out - it felt like I was on the brink of fainting almost, but I never did. I felt nauseas at times, but never got sick - burped like a drunk man though! Haha! My temperature fluctuated wildly - I would have these hot, sweaty flashes and someone would fan me - bring something to fan with! Then I'd get cold and shaky and want to hug someone for warmth.

Pushing sucked - it did. But again, it flew by and I pushed for nearly two hours. The time inbetween was, again, great and I'd zone out. But when the contraction would hit, it would hurt and pushing hurt and I could never decide which was worse. So sometimes I pushed and sometimes I just breathed through it. I did this over the toilet as well and when they made me move to check me, it hurt worse, so I went back to the toilet. Good thing - I pooped again. :( ugh! The whole time I could feel his head moving lower, which was actually very reassuring. And when I did summon the strength to really push, it felt good because I felt like I was making progress.

Ok, so then I KNEW when he was starting to crown because it burned! I had to move to the bed, which I didn't love, BUT I did have a squat bar, which I used and liked a lot. Also, if I did lay back, Davin and my doula would grab my legs and pull them back and then I'd grab my thighs and pull forward and that felt good. Then when they could first see the head, Davin got excited and I reached down to feel it and that was awesome and gave me the strength to keep going. Plus, then you know it's almost over! Very shortly after, I could SEE the head when I pushed and pulled myself forward, and that was great too. While crowning did burn a lot, it was not as bad as I had expected. And it was quick. So then the dr has to kind of push your skin back a little as the head comes out, which is terrible, but the second it clears, the feeling is of tremendous relief - it was amazingly great! Then the shoulders I didn't really notice, and then my only real yelling - Davin had his shoulders and I told him to just pull and get him out! Haha! Then he was on my belly and it was over and all worth it and all the terrible thoughts seem ridiculous (I actually said out loud at one point that we were never having another kid!) and you instantly start to forget! I only vaguely remember delivering the placenta- it was easy and felt again slightly like relief.

Then unfortunately, I hemmoraged (spl?) pretty badly - my uterus would not contract and shrink and I lost A LOT of blood! I was so enamored with Henry that I was unaware for awhile. But the dr got really concerned and more nurses came in and they had to give my oxytocin to make it contract. Later, they said they really thought I was going to need a transfusion! But again, I was somewhat blissfully unaware!

The tummy time was amazing and he fed right away and Davin cut the cord. That all lasted about an hour. Then they took him (just across the room) for all the stats and I realized I was STARVING and dehydrated. I ate graham crackers and downed apple juice like a kid and let me tell you, it was the best thing I have ever tasted! Haha! Then we moved to recovery. So my water broke about 10:25 and he was born at 3:50. Fast! And I did it the way I wanted - no meds!!!

38 weeks

Nothing too crazy, but it's been far too long since I posted anything. Still need to go through pics from my formal shower at some point :)

Had my 38 week checkup yesterday...some stats:

Baby
-measuring normal
-still head down
-heart rate 158bpm

Me
-Dr confirmed I did test positive for Group B Strep. Just means I will have an IV of antibiotics at time of delivery.
-up 35 lbs...not real happy about this, but Dr said I'm fine. will just be extra motivated to get it all off and then some ;)
-cervix checked for first time...1cm dilated and 70% effaced. Dr said she doesn't expect me to go past my due date, but you never know.

In other news...how am I feeling and what's new? Been a while since I documented so this is for posterity's sake:

-backache a daily battle. always under bra-line on left in my upper back...kinda under shoulder blade. used to hit me around 5:30...now it gets me way early in the day and driving is a killer...even just my short 10-15 min commute. Only fix is laying down

-heartburn...luckily Zantac has kept it mostly at bay so long as I remember to take the 2nd dose by 4pm.

-swelling of hands and feet...it's never crazy, but definitely there and more noticeable at the end of the day

-painful hands in the middle of the night...Dr said it's from fluid redistributing during the night. hurts to do anything with my hands, but disappears almost immediately upon waking

-been waking up sometimes in the past few weeks almost choking on acid reflux...ugh. it's a pretty horrible experience. have tried sleeping propped up a bit and it does help...some

-in the past week I have had some bad (TMI) trips to the bathroom in the middle of the night. apparently this is likely due to the hormone Prostaglandin, which helps prep the body for labor by thinning the cervix and whatnot

-heart racing/elevated pulse...this has been ongoing since 36 weeks I think. will be racing up to 120bpm while just sitting at my desk. asked Dr and she said can be normal at this stage and to not worry unless I develop chest pain. but it's really annoying and causes me to sigh almost constantly. i'm sure my coworkers aren't annoyed at all ;)

I'll post more if I think of anything haha...seems like a lot of complaining, but it's more just documenting. Can't believe I get to meet my son soon...omg "my son"...WHAT??? :D